Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Vintage Challenge

Hello! My name is Matilda - of waltzing fame, if you must know. I've come to you from the 1916 edition of Collingbourne's Encyclopedia of Technologic Art Needle Work Instruction by Virginia Snow. I'm here to discuss with you all an issue of great import to your remarkably charming hostess, Subway Hooker. As she described, albeit in rather more coarse language, while quite smitten with this lovely cap as presented in my mighty tome, she found the technologic pattern instructions to be wanting for clarity. She explained that you might find it frustrating that we do not indicate the weight of the yarns utilized, nor do we inform our dear readers of the particular crochet hook size necessary for the successful completion of the cap (or any of the patterns presented, truth be told). I find this odd - aren't these simply meaningless details that any needlewoman trained in the dainty arts would understand upon seeing the illustrations? Furthermore, Miss Hooker took to the giggles when, upon reading the pattern instructions, we reference "holes," as in: "8 sc in the hole." And what else? Ah yes, she rather laboriously discussed her preference for understanding gauge, what with the lack of other specific details such as yarn weight and hook size. I'm sorry, but have women gone rather simple in the head?

Well, despite the challenges presented given the issues discussed above, Subway Hooker will attempt to recreate my gay chapeau for your edification. Furthermore, she will make any amendments to the pattern instructions deemed necessary to avoid failure. And in her unending well of generosity, she has decided to post the original instructions so that those experienced in the needle arts may try to complete the project at hand.

In return, Miss Hooker would be most gratified if, upon the cap's successful completion, you were to send to her a photograph of your finished work.

And without further ado, I present to you the Matilda Cap:


Gauge before Beauty said...

Does the 21st row really want you to do something with a crook? I don't know any crooks...though I've known a bastard or three. Would that work?

Subway Hooker said...

Yeah, I wondered about that myself. But I think the bastard wouldn't work - bastards almost never do!